I am of the opinion that the purpose of nerf is to have fun, not to prove how manly one is. Proving one's manliness can be fun, but if that's your goal, may I point you to another hobby that may accomplish that goal for you more efficiently.
I looked at the title of this thread and immediately thought, "Why would you want idiots to nerf with you?" They are, by your own admission, idiots. In my experience, idiots and fun are inversely proportional to one another. The more idiots involved, the less fun had.
Find people who are more interested in having fun, skip the idiots altogether.
I'm pleased to see folks in this community using kids toys to play with kids. It's nice to see references to youth groups on these forums.
I'd keep a few things in mind as you're organizing things:
1) The more complicated the rules, the more things can go wrong.
2) If people are sitting out, they're not having fun.
3) Stay flexible, change the rules to balance the game if you need to.
I'd recommend games that have infinite respawns by tagging a certain spot, or games like Humans vs Zombies, where you don't lose, you just change teams. Kids are almost certainly going to shoot one another with the blasters, so it's better to control that in some way rather than fight against it.
If you're having people mark their darts, I'd recommend that you put the mark as close to the front of the dart as you can, otherwise it'll rub off from constant use.
Realy? Five posts in a row? That's got to be a record.
At any rate, it seems like there's not enough NIC presence in North Carolina right now to merit a war, I'd recommend you do this old school and get your friends in on it, then try again later. Summer is traditionally the nerfing season.