I say "inflict" because I'm not sure how many friends are as insane as me.You say "inflict", I say "delight"
This might sound primitive, but... have you considered just putting globs of hot glue on it?
And no way I'm trusting hot glue with this. Not only do I want something reversible, but it's let me down in way less kinetic applications.
I have some new hardware on there now. It's a bit of a Frankenstein still, but . I think I can actually use this!
No official numbers for the speed and it's pretty inconsistent, but I'm pretty sure this thing easily hits 100fps.