I’ve observed the differing kind of flora and fauna that inhabit these said boards, and have drawn up several conclusive observations, in this instance concerning the forum boards pertaining to NERF products….
1) The “Nerfer”. This is the forum member who joins a board because he is genuinely and sincerely interested in Nerf, the amazing world of modifying Nerf blasters for improved performance, and conducting the mode of play that has been the traditional standard of Nerfers since my memory serves me (4-5 years back); Capture the Flag, and Elimination/ death match, and some others. They form loosely knit groups called clans, enjoy life, and shoot the breeze on the boards. I'm sure this represents the silent (and not-so silent) majority.
2) The Forum Boss. These are folks who post primarily to work on getting a self-appointed title, posting a comment or two on practically every single subject under the sun. They are primarily active in the Off-Topic forums, where neither experience with playing or modifying Nerf blasters is a prerequisite for carrying on a decent discussion without making themselves look stupid, or like a bucket full of bullshit. They lean on the fact that they have a tremendous number of posts, as though post count were IQ, when oftentimes the most intelligent of posters have relatively low counts for their commensurate time as a user. Thankfully, the site that used to award titles for post counts has stopped the practice, and post count simply means that they have that much more spare time on their hands to talk about trivial matters.
Forum Bosses are not to be confused with Administrators, who basically rule your life on these boards, and can be identified by red lettering on their online status usernames, which represents the blood of users who fall by their wrath. I speak well of them so as not to get a Viking axe or gun called “Binky” shoved into my nether regions.
3) The “toy soldier”. This is the forum member who believes that Nerf GUNS are in fact, guns. They modify and paint their blasters mainly to resemble the latest assault rifle, combat piece, and insist that fully automatic Nerf blasters have to look like an M-60 machine gun or P90. They practically worship Boltsniper for his FAR, and Starbuck for his belt-fed machine gun (which they promise they’re going to make…someday). They call nerf darts and stefans, "bullets". They Nerf using the latest pseudo-military tactics that they saw on “Navy Seals” or read about in “Soldier of Fortune”, with camouflage BDUs, body armor, and would use Kevlar helmets given the opportunity, despite the fact that Nerf darts don’t even penetrate the human body. They insist that scopes and Night Vision devices that cost 20 times what a Big Bad Bow costs are the way to go, and post countless posts about grenades, mines, bayonets, and Claymore-type devices. God forbid when they see my Light Artillery piece.
4) The Nerf Assassin. A recent influx of these makes this forum member worth mentioning. They are involved in “assassin” type games on either high school or college campuses, and insist that they are the only “real” type of Nerf game play, and that all others are imitations. They love the Nite Finder and Maverick, believe strongly in Nerf losing, silencers, bipods, listening devices and binoculars, and don’t mind using 2-3 bucks of gas to drive around the neighborhood to infiltrate/ eliminate opponents…with a spring powered dart gun. They’d be willing to sit in someone’s hallway all night while their “target” is out having a nice dinner or seeing a movie so they can ‘eliminate’ them. They have the stealth of a Ninja, but probably couldn’t dodge much from a seasoned CTF team in a 3:15 speed match. For some reason or other their Nite Finders or Mavs seem to have a tremendous range advantage over those who mod them for more conventional play...maybe it's the long hallways. They have fun, but not without trying to proselytize the masses to become like them.
5) The Nerf Low Rider. These folks love their Nerf blasters as a canvas of expression. They spend hours masking, painting, detailing, and assembling their blasters...for what I'm not sure, because they don't want the "paint to get scratched or smudged." Unlike the Bagheads who make wonderful masterpieces and take them into the combat zone, these guys are worried about resale value, which would be affected if there were scuff marks on their weapons, which in reality doesn't affect performance in any way. Whoever decides to fabricate Nerf blaster/ gun display cases/ racks stands to make a small fortune from this crowd.
6) The friggin’ Troll (and close variants/ mutants). These are people who have no life outside of causing trouble on forum boards. In the case of Nerf boards, they may be AirSoft or paintball players who somehow feel like they validate their hobby by crapping up someone’s Nerf board, making it out to be “for wusses, sissies, girlie-men”, and other such juvenile playground name-calling….without realizing what asses they make themselves look like. They attempt to break forum rules, from subtle (like “speling” errors), to extreme (mouthing off to site admins and webmasters), all the while not realizing that the admin is ready to call Comcast, Verizon, or WebTV and have their Internet service revoked, if not at least suspended for 27.9 years from the site. Or, they could just be…
7) The retard. Sometimes it’s just that there are some that are not meant to be using forum boards for intelligent discussion. Sure, they may be functional in society and valuable in either the food service, or janitorial arts industries, or at the very least become military weapons testers…but for some reason or other they do things like ask redundant questions…ask vague generalizations that are almost ‘no-brainers’ to answer…or post ‘best gun’ threads. I think that the admins don’t suspend these, just out of pity for the less equipped…or allow them to be eliminated by natural selection or just having nothing more to say, which usually comes around 50 posts or so. Others need to be suspended for mercy reasons.
8) The stodgy old coot. He usually grumbles quietly, and posts a rant every now and then. He takes his frustration out by chopping up and modifying a blaster, cutting and porting plastic barrels, or working on the “forever F.A.R.”. You wonder why he still loves Nerf, other than the fact that his kids love it so much. He really should be out golfing, or gardening, or playing backgammon and dominoes in the park. But he keeps coming back for more...
And he’s usually nicknamed Piney. You can't pick mine, I'd wipe you out at dominoes.
-Piney-
EDIT; It's meant to be somewhat humorous...if you're offended, you need help beyond what a Nerf discussion board can offer.
EDIT 2: Okay, lots of gearheads. Just vote Nerfer and make a comment on it. I actually spend more time gearheading then Nerfing, only because victims are in short supply here.
Edited by Pineapple, 02 March 2006 - 06:14 PM.
