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#1 VIVALANATION

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 12:08 AM

you guys [get] s[o] [m]uch pussy[]. nerf is a [] game. [I'm into] preteen queers [who] play [with my shrivled little bit of a wang.] [Pitty] it[!] [Salty] balls [are my motivation for] play[ing] paintball. [I like] fags.


[This message has been edited for the safety of humans over the age of 8.]

#2 Groove

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 12:53 AM

Thats some funny shit.
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"Too close for missiles, I'm switchin' to guns"


#3 cxwq

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 01:12 AM

Thanks to Vacc for the post edit, ipban, and thread deletions. Now it's time to get our pbnation friend grounded for a month or two...

Account Suspension Notification

VIVALANATION,
Your member account at NerfHaven has been temporarily suspended because you're an immature twit. I will be contacting Mediacom to let them know that you are in violation of their terms of service. When your parents call to ask why they've been disconnected, they may be treated to some choice quotes from your NerfHaven contributions.

See you in 27 years!

Your account will not be functional until Nov 5 2031, 10:11 PM (depending on your timezone). This is an automated process and you do not need to do anything to expediate the unsuspension process.

Board Address: http://nerfhaven.com/forums/index.php
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<meta name="cxwq" content="mostly water">

#4 xedice

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 05:56 AM

You are into preteen queers huh?. You have guts VIVALANATION, to express your feelings to us, even if it was a wee bit edited. You are admired viva, for your honesty and the means to which you have expressed it.
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Shmokin' weed, Shmokin' wizz
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Rollin' fatties, Smokin' blunts
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#5 AirApache

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 07:51 AM

Hmm...the only thing I have to say about this that hasn't been said before is:

That was a complete waste of time, making an account, viewing the forums, deciding that even though you decided to spend time looking for a nerf forum place you thought nerf was stupid, MAKING a post, and writing down your thoughts in a place where you knew that everyone would hate you for saying that....

Congratulations. You're stupid (I'd put up my pic if I was at home...). You win...Cx's biggest prize of all!

Loser.

AA
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Indiana '11

#6 reversedracula

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 08:48 AM

Waiting for Cxwq's posting today was like waiting for a Christmas gift. A crossbow Christmas gift.

Edit: Er, just checked his timestamp, seems I went to bed right before he posted, but you get the idea.

Edited by reversedracula, 21 June 2004 - 08:48 AM.

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NERF OR NOTHIGN!11!eleven!!!one!!!one!11!!!!onhoundredandeleven!!!!!

#7 Ragornocks

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 08:57 AM

Cxwq/Vacc

I love you guys.
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hug the fuck out of 'em, philippe!

#8 Ice Nine

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 10:37 AM

you guys [get] s[o] [m]uch pussy[]. nerf is a [] game. [I'm into] preteen queers [who] play [with my shrivled little bit of a wang.] [Pitty] it[!] [Salty] balls [are my motivation for] play[ing] paintball. [I like] fags.


[This message has been edited for the safety of humans over the age of 8.]


I can honestly say this is the funniest thing that I have seen for a long, long time.
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Unholy Three: DUPLUM SCRTA, DUPLUM PROBLEMA (2009)

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#9 reversedracula

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 10:38 AM

Looks like Ice Nine and I snagged the good new signatures.


For those of you unfamiliar with trolls, this is right out of the monster manual:

Large Giant
Hit Dice: 6d8+36 (63hp)
Initiative: +2 (Dex)
Speed: 30ft
AC: 18 (-1 size, +2 Dex, +7 natural)
Attacks: 2 claws, +9 melee, bite +4 melee
Damage: Claw 1d6+6, bute 1d6+3
Face/Reach: 5 ft. by 5ft./10ft
Special Attacks: Rend 2d6+9
Special Qualities: Regeneration 5, scent, darkvision 90 ft.
Saves: Fort +11, Ref +4, Will +3
Abilities: Str 23, Dex 14, Con 23, Int 6, Wis 9, Cha 6
Skills: Listen +5, Spot +5
Feats: Alertness, Iron Will

"Trolls are horrid carnivores found in all climes, from arctic wastelands to tropical jungles. Most creatures avoid these beasts, who know no fear and attack unceasingly when hungry. Trolls have ravenous appetites, devouring everything from grubs to bears and humanoids. They often lair near settlements and hunt the inhabitants until they devour every last one. A typical adult troll stands 9 feet tall and weights 500 pounds. Its rubbery hide is moss green, mottled green and gray, or putrid gray. A writhing, hairlike mass grows out of the skull and is usually greenish black or iron gray. The arms and legs are long and ungainly. The legs end in great three-toed feet, the arms in wide, powerful hands with sharpened claws. Trolls can appear thin and frail but possess suprising strength. Females are larger and more powerful than their male counterparts. Trolls walk upright but hunched forward with sagging shoulders. Their gait is uneven, and when they run, the arms dangle and drag along the ground."

Combat:
"Trolls have no fear of death: They launch themselves into combat without hesitation, flailing wildly at the closest opponent. Even when confronted with fire, they try to get around the flames and attack."



If you wish for more information about trolls, read some Norwegian folklore, go watch David the Gnome, read Henrick Ibsen's play Peer Gynt or listen to Edvard Grieg's In the Hall of the Mountain King from his Peer Gynt Suite, based on Ibsen's play. More info on forum trolls here:
http://en.wikipedia..../Internet_troll

Edited by reversedracula, 21 June 2004 - 11:02 AM.

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NERF OR NOTHIGN!11!eleven!!!one!!!one!11!!!!onhoundredandeleven!!!!!

#10 cxwq

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 04:09 PM

You know what I love about you guys?

On most forums, everyone gets all defensive and they start arguing with the trolls.

Here you guys just go grab a soda, sit back, and wait for the admin hammer from hell.

THEN you mock the guy for being stupid enough to come here.

Classic ass kicking.
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<meta name="cxwq" content="mostly water">

#11 Groove

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 04:20 PM

This brings back memories of the days of Billy Woot.

But I gotta' hand it to you - VACC/Cx, you handled yourselves very err...well.

And just to back up what Cx mentioned, yes - that is one of the great things about NH, compared to any other board for that matter. On almost every other forum, I'd bet everyone else would be flaming the already deleted account and banned IP, but here - the admins, I'm telling you:

...is where the magic happens.

Edited by GrOOvE, 21 June 2004 - 04:21 PM.

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"Too close for missiles, I'm switchin' to guns"


#12 neonerfer

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 04:20 PM

Beautiful.
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#13 ItalionStallion

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 04:30 PM

What does his username mean? Im not 100% sure but doesnt viva la nation mean living the nation? Or am i retarted?


Anyway i am glad that you contacted the kids IP, his internet account deserves to be suspended.

Edited by ItalionStallion, 21 June 2004 - 04:30 PM.

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#14 VACC

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 04:30 PM

The trick is to think of pitty as mustard.....I fucking hate mustard..

VACC
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#15 Ragornocks

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 05:40 PM

Oh, come on, you've never tried Jalepeno Mustard? I either add that or Spicy Ketchup to most of my meals.

Otherwise, yeah, mustard isn't that great...I know what to send you this Christmas, though...
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hug the fuck out of 'em, philippe!

#16 cxwq

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 06:24 PM

Dear NerfHaven.com web master. My son showed me this e-mail and I deeply appologize for his behavior. I assure you that nothing like this will ever happen again. We have grounded him from the internet.

[..snip..]


Who's next?
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<meta name="cxwq" content="mostly water">

#17 Ironman

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 07:34 PM

Dear NerfHaven.com web master. My son showed me this e-mail and I deeply appologize for his behavior. I assure you that nothing like this will ever happen again. We have grounded him from the internet.

[..snip..]

That is some funny shuff. That is so funny how the parents are so quick to ground their son and not just rip the kid's computer out of the wall and throw it out the window. Classic spoiled brat.
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#18 Katachi

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 07:44 PM

Dear NerfHaven.com web master. My son showed me this e-mail and I deeply appologize for his behavior. I assure you that nothing like this will ever happen again. We have grounded him from the internet.

[..snip..]


Who's next?

So wait.... DAD??? he's probably younger than us AND is trying to act all macho about nerf being for "kids"??? Shoot, I thought maybe it was someone who at least knew what they were talking about... like oh, I don't know, someone who's bought a weapon from somewhere else than Toys' R Us.... Kids today....

As long as parent's don ban nerf guns like they did with all my Entertech and old Larami guns.... nerf won't die.
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#19 ompa

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 08:02 PM

Ah... this forum almost brings as much cheer to me as cheese does- and that's alot of cheer. Another congrats to the administrators is in line, not just for handling the issue so quickly, but for making it so damn funny at the same time (Vacc and Cx). I don't know how you guys do it. Cxwq and Vacc, undesputed champs of killing online forum trolls.

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It's a first, and I have a headache.

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#20 LDM

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 08:27 PM

I'm surprised that this guy managed to get eight posts!
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#21 jpshyboi9

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 08:44 PM

Unless the apologu letter is from the parents email and we are certain that this is the parents....this kid could be trying to throw us off-gaurd.

So, if you know it's the parents then it's ok, but if you see him post ne more............TOTAL BANNAGE!!!!!!!!!!!

#22 cxwq

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 10:24 PM

Oh, don't be under the impression that we're letting him keep his login or anything. Hell, he's still IP banned. I told 'dad' that I won't follow through with the ISP angle unless I see the asshat again.

I've had people pretend to be their parents before and they always fuck up a pronoun or write like a 10-year-old or something. I'm about 80% sure this is really his dad based on the rather long email he sent.

Either way it's funny though. Imagine a stupid, scared fucktard sweating over that email from 'his dad' trying to keep his actual dad from finding out.
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#23 Accord

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 10:50 PM

Then again CX, he can't be that young, most 10 year olds dont play paintball. This kid already has too much free time by flaming this board, so I wouldn't doubt that he put in the time to write a long ass letter.

#24 Zero Talent

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Posted 22 June 2004 - 01:17 AM

So wait.... DAD??? he's probably younger than us AND is trying to act all macho about nerf being for "kids"??? Shoot, I thought maybe it was someone who at least knew what they were talking about... like oh, I don't know, someone who's bought a weapon from somewhere else than Toys' R Us.... Kids today....

Hehe... It wouldn't be anyone else. Most paintballers are very nice, level-headed people. Problem is "war games" attract all types... I'm sure he's an annoying waif on the PB boards as well.
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#25 LDM

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Posted 22 June 2004 - 06:34 PM

What else would you expect? Who would want to hang out with some publess, pre-teen queers?

Edited by LDM, 22 June 2004 - 06:37 PM.

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