Lesson #1 - In The City, grass is for looking at!
These barricades were not to keep people off a specific patch of grass. They went on as far as the eye could see, completely surrounding every blade of grass in Central Park. There were signs posted telling people to keep the hell out.
Lesson #2 - Team sports are not permitted!
After the shock wore off I called Vacc and told him we had something serious going on here. He wasted no time joining me in my mission.
Unfortunately, the news was still grim.
At Riverside Park there were fences around the grass and signs forbidding team sports.
We were getting pretty exhausted from the search at this point. You have to keep in mind that the typical park in The City doesn't have any damn grass to start with. This is a typical community park:
Yes, they forbid team sports even on the concrete parks.
Deciding to raise our spirits with a visit to local toy paradise FAO Schwarz, we head over to Fifth Ave and wander in. Past the $3600 stuffed giraffes, up the escalator, down the escalator, around the back, across the aisle, where the fuck are the Nerf guns? We thought for a second we'd discovered them in a little alcove at the back but it turned out to be a million stuffed pigs.
Vacc's expression says it all here. We finally discovered the escalator that goes down to the basement. Apparently they keep all the toys that they'd really rather not be associated with in the basement. Is it a conspiracy to keep Nerf out of New York?
That briefest moment of discovery, taking in the rows of Nerf logos gleaming under the fluorescent lights, that made it all worth it. How bad could this city be if they have over a dozen of every current production Nerf gun, all in one store?
The sad truth was waiting for us only a few hundred feet away, at the south-east entrance to Central Park. I channeled Charlton Heston briefly...
New York sculpture is NERFERS!!
