When you start avoiding your web site because you know it's gonna be full of More Shit I Gotta Do, it's time for change.
We now have 5 shiny robotic Ambassadors here to serve our every n00b ass-kicking pleasure. You're already familiar with Shindig and Talio holding the line, and Ompa has been doing the job for ages with only a custom title to back up his authority. These three will be joined by two guys who have been around pretty much forever and have graciously agreed to help clean this place up. Death and Pineapple will, effective immediately, be herding the pissants into small, defenseless groups for summary execution.
But wait, there's more! Now how much would you pay? You also get two new Founders absolutely free! From the "giving credit where due" department, we've decided to promote two people who have been here since the beginning and have given loads of their valuable time to make this site what it is. Groove and Julie will be joining The Sacred Triumverate as we look down upon you and pass judgement. Or light our own farts, depending.
Let me be the first to extend my congratulations to Ompa, Death, Pineapple, Groove, and Julie on their new positions!

^ Early n00b-control methods - frozen in carbonite.