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A Poem

please don't kill me

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#1 NerfMonkey

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Posted 18 June 2005 - 10:22 PM

As I unsheathe my sword,
The moon appears red
As if it knows that itís time for redemption.

My eyes sharpen and become focused.
The animals leave at my wake.
Growling at my presence,
Knowing the rivers will redden.

A secluded spot appears and I quickly take to it.
My katana has proven its worth.
Now it decides, but one, last factor,
The slight line between life and eternal damnation.

The people come and watch this stranger.
I know what has happened,
But do they?

The artillery release their gunfire on me.
They slowly destroy me,
Yet I do not feel pain.

The spectators wonder this.
I laugh at their ignorance.
One approaches me and truly understands.

That person realizes what I have done.
My bloodied blade and gashes in my kimono.
A smirk forms on their face and they quickly say one thing.
ďHope that your soul is saved for you undoubtedly burn in hell.Ē
With that simple line, I awake to an ever-lasting darkness.
These are my consequences for the deeds done long ago.

This is a favor for someone, so please don't kill me over it.

Edited by NerfMonkey, 18 June 2005 - 10:53 PM.

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SexD Warves

#2 Nerforbust

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Posted 18 June 2005 - 10:46 PM

Posting Sohei's poems? Isnt he banned?
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#3 VGN

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Posted 19 June 2005 - 12:19 AM

Apparently he is. Good poem anyhow.
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#4 The Infinite Shindig

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Posted 19 June 2005 - 08:52 AM

Posting Sohei's poems? Isnt he banned?

Sohei (Suspended until Mar 21 2006, 01:53 AM)
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#5 JSkater

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Posted 23 June 2005 - 09:06 AM

"As I unsheathe my sword"

Hehe. Chappelle's Show.
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#6 Ash

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Posted 23 June 2005 - 05:52 PM

I know it is unfashionable to say anything anyone creates is subpar, but I honestly don't think that peice works as a poem. Maybe as a narrative or write a short story out of it, the writing isn't bad, but it doesn't flow as a poem at all.
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#7 NinjZ

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Posted 23 June 2005 - 09:43 PM

Personaly I dont like it. Theirs a few innacuracies about it not to mention the overall tone doesnt match how the samurai would be feeling.
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