Jump to content


Photo

Knife: Vietnam Era Story

My second story

21 replies to this topic

Poll: How was it?

How was it?

You cannot see the results of the poll until you have voted. Please login and cast your vote to see the results of this poll.
Vote Guests cannot vote

#1 Shotty Master

Shotty Master

    Member

  • Members
  • 147 posts

Posted 27 April 2005 - 04:44 PM

here it is: Knife


The date was 1969. The US had troops in Cambodia, Laos, and Vietnam. The date many strategic commanders for the US had only dreamed of had been prepared. The Chinese ambassador and the North Vietnamese Dictator had both decided to meet in one place. If both were assassinated, the Chinese would withdraw support, and the NVA would be weakened. The American leaders had gone to Congress. Their day for official approval came and permission for the hit was denied. Congress decided it had too many ways it could cause political havoc, and possibly lead to nuclear war. However, the President thought it better to risk political catastrophes than to risk a prolonged war in ‘Nam. There for, to get around the system, they went outside the system. In fact, they went so far out of the system as to contact the Mafia. The man, code named Knife, who would perform the assassination was named Ray “Freelance” Freeland. He was a loser who was almost hired to kill Castro. He would have done the job, except for the fact that his leg was broke at the time.
Knife would bring water, a holster and three clips for his .50 DE, and three extra clips for the loser rifle he would bring, just in case he found other promising targets. He would be allowed to use his own custom loser rifle, a Draugunov loser rifle with integral silencer. Ray would be inserted by motorcycle to a tower in the occupied city of Hue. The meeting would take place a day after he arrived in the room he had rented, conveniently facing the complex assembled about four blocks down.
He packed his disassembled Draug’ and placed it into his special “violin case”, wrapped his belt around his pistol and placed it into the case also; he needed to be inconspicuous. He loaded the “violin” onto his motorcycle, and headed into Hue. He headed to the tower only to find a NVA soldier standing guard, inspecting packages and bags, and patting down people to search for weapons. That posed a problem as the whole building was surrounded by a concrete wall. Upon further inspection, knife found a risky way in, but the only way. There were several vines hanging down the side of a rough wall. That wall was the back of the tower. So long as no one saw him, he would be able to climb to the top by holding on to the rough edges of the building. Then, at the top, he would open the window and slide in. As he got off his bike and turned to put his kickstand down, he thought of a complication. The case. He hadn’t any idea of how to get the case up. So knife thought about the plan some more and found that there was no easy way to get up there. Unfortunately, buy this time the guard had noticed him and started walking toward him. Knife sped off on his bike, hoping the guard would try and follow. The guard got on his moped and started to zip after him. Knife, buy this time however, had went around the perimeter and entered the front entry. He got off his motorcycle and hid it in the shrubs. He took the “violin” up to his room, and assembled it. Then he took out a pair of binoculars and looked into the complex. The meeting would occur in fifteen minutes in a gazebo outside the base. Perfect.
Fifteen minutes later, a limo pulled up. Out of it came Kong Fat of China, Viet Ho-Chin of North Korea, and another man. At first glance, it appeared to Vladimir Putkin, dictator of Russia, but Knife knew better; but then two KGB bodyguards step out of the vehicle. This was beyond perfect. It was hardly believable.
All of the men sat down, except the bodyguards, and started discussing the matter of weapons supply. “So, Mr. Fat, I hope you are pleased by what your troops seized from the Americans” said Viet.
“Indeed I am Mr. HoChin. Indeed I am.”
“I for one am not. You…” Said Vladimir as he was cut short by a bullet to the temple. The KGB agents scrambled to his aide, but were only misted by blood as Kong Fat fell to a shot to the throat. Viet Ho-Chin knew he was dead even before the bullet hit his upper spinal cord.

Knife disassembled his Draug’ and pulled out is pistol and holster and placed it on his belt. He took his violin case and walked down stairs. As he reached the door, he was detained by the guard that was back. The guard ordered knife to turn around and drop his “violin”. Knife turned around and saw his escape: a glass coca-cola bottle. His right hand slowly drew his DE and the left picked up the bottle. He placed the bottle over the barrel, turned, and fired. The glass muffled the shot enough that no one hears it over the ambulance wailing in the background. Knife replaced his pistol and picked up the discharged casing to his bullet. Then he exited, careful to make sure he wasn’t spotted. He moved over to the motorcycle hidden in the bushes and pulled it out. He started it up and headed to the city limits, but was stopped there buy two guards, trying to stop an escaping assassin. Knife quickly pulls out his pistol and double-taps each of the guards in the chest. He then floors the bike, certain he’s been heard and heads back to the nearest military base were he catches a C-43 home.


Ps, i realize vladamir putin is president of modern russia, not dictator of veitnam era russia. if someone could help me with who it was that ruled russia at the time, i would appreciate it.

Edited by Shotty_Master, 27 April 2005 - 04:59 PM.

  • 0

#2 Oddball

Oddball

    Member

  • Members
  • 60 posts

Posted 29 April 2005 - 06:12 AM

Nowhere near as dry. Good job.

The characters are still a bit.. bland, though. I suppose you were going for knife to be a cold-hearted assasin, but he ended up feeling more like a blank sheet of paper with a rifle. You've improved a lot though, I look forward to your next one.
  • 0

#3 pinhead52

pinhead52

    Member

  • Members
  • 193 posts

Posted 29 April 2005 - 06:16 PM

Two things, first the obvious; a desert eagle is far from a feasable weapon. Very cool yes, but nobody with military experience would honestly consider it tactical, much less using it with one hand while the other holds a make-shift silencer. I would suggest making it a .45 or 9mm 1911, slightly less badass (Sam J. uses a 9mm version in pulp fiction) and very tactically useful.

Also during the assassination part, I liked your style, but you need to give it a perspective closer to the loser. Here is how I would have done it, you can take as much of this (including none) if you would like;

As the men, short of the bodyguards, sat down to discuss matters of weapons supply, Knife calmed his arms and held his breath, waiting for his heartbeat to tell him when to shoot. The world outside his scope fades away as he watches the tiny figure-eight like movements of his crosshairs get smaller.
“So, Mr. Fat, I hope you are pleased by what your troops seized from the Americans” said Viet.
“Indeed I am Mr. HoChin. Indeed I am.”
“I for one am not. You…” Said Vladimir as he was cut short by a bullet to the temple. The KGB agents scrambled to his aide, but were only misted by blood as Kong Fat fell to a shot to the throat. Viet Ho-Chin knew he was dead even before the bullet hit his upper spinal cord.

I suppose I would have gone into ghastly detail through the whole thing... but that's just my style. I like yours as well (why I left it open for you to not change your story), and want to see more.
  • 0

#4 THIRST

THIRST

    Member

  • Members
  • 1,099 posts

Posted 29 April 2005 - 07:20 PM

Two things, first the obvious; a desert eagle is far from a feasable weapon. Very cool yes, but nobody with military experience would honestly consider it tactical

Funny, if I recall correctly, my cousin who was in the Israeli army as a loser had a Desert Eagle issued to him by the IDF.

THIRST
  • 0
ko

#5 pinhead52

pinhead52

    Member

  • Members
  • 193 posts

Posted 30 April 2005 - 03:44 AM

I doubt it was the 50 and if that's true, the israeli army are idiots. Otherwise he lied to you. The 50 is known to everyone who knows anything about pistols as either a comic book joke or something the "super elite" of pistol marksmanship get to say "see? I can fire it." Yes, it gets good range, but is far from tactical in any sense of the word. I can break this down into any of the areas of tactical pistol strengths, and use the current standard issue for american police and SWAT, which is pretty much any full sized Glock.

First; weighting. In a pistol you want it to be heavy enough to absorb shock, but light enough to be able to draw and aim quickly. Glock's weighting; 22.3 oz. DE's; 71.4 oz. Over 3 times as much, which makes it a gun that you pretty much can't aim accuratly with one hand.

Second; capacity. The DE can only hold 7 rounds. That's 7 shots until you have to pull a new magazine out of your pocket. With the Glock you get 10 standard, 13 with a special order, 15 for law enforcement, or even up to 17 in some case that I don't even know about. That's between 2 and 3 times as many shots with an accurate gun that fires .357s, a far more reliable round than the .50.

Third; reliability. I don't think I need to do much explaining here. The DE opens more than any other gun when ejecting the shell (because it has to recoil from a crap-load of kick), and just Nerfing you should know, fewer open and moving parts means more reliability. The Glock on the other hand doesn't even have an external hammer, and can fire under water, after being under sand, and in a crap and a half load of other situations.

The DE is in no way a tactical pistol, at least not the .50 mark XIX. Possibly the .44 mark VII, but not the .50. It's just a flashy cartoon gun made real for big spenders and deep pocketed collectors.

Bottom line, you don't recall correctly.
  • 0

#6 THIRST

THIRST

    Member

  • Members
  • 1,099 posts

Posted 30 April 2005 - 09:55 AM

I doubt it was the 50 and if that's true, the israeli army are idiots. Otherwise he lied to you. The 50 is known to everyone who knows anything about pistols as either a comic book joke or something the "super elite" of pistol marksmanship get to say "see? I can fire it." Yes, it gets good range, but is far from tactical in any sense of the word. I can break this down into any of the areas of tactical pistol strengths, and use the current standard issue for american police and SWAT, which is pretty much any full sized Glock.

It was a .44, and I held it. He was special forces in the IDF. If you think the Israeli army is full of idiots, then read on, bitch.

-War of Independence (1948), when five heavily equipped modern armies struck at this nation(smaller than New jersey) on the day of Israel's creation.
-Israel was confronted by an Arab force of some 465,000 troops, over 2,880 tanks and 810 aircraft. The armies of Kuwait, Algeria, Saudi Arabia and Iraq were contributing troops and arms to the Egyptian, Syrian and Jordanian fronts.
-Yom Kippur War (1973), in which solitary Israeli tanks held off entire Arab divisions.

First; weighting. In a pistol you want it to be heavy enough to absorb shock, but light enough to be able to draw and aim quickly. Glock's weighting; 22.3 oz. DE's; 71.4 oz. Over 3 times as much, which makes it a gun that you pretty much can't aim accuratly with one hand.

You cant aim any handugn accuratly with one hand.

Second; capacity. The DE can only hold 7 rounds. That's 7 shots until you have to pull a new magazine out of your pocket

Its a pistol, they use it as a last resort. You only need 7 shots as a sidearm if your trained as Special Forces.

Third; reliability

Have you done any research?

Stop pulling shit out of your ass, dumbfuck.

THIRST

Edited by THIRST, 30 April 2005 - 10:01 AM.

  • 0
ko

#7 Talio

Talio

    Not your mother

  • Contributors
  • 2,781 posts

Posted 30 April 2005 - 04:11 PM

Alright, that's enough, no more stories. Go find a literature board, because you're not going to get a valid opinion here. When this becomes Book Haven, we'll let it slide, however I don't want this to become a trend in posting. Please, no more stories.

Talio.
  • 0
New posts on my blog, check it out. - Click on the ad too, cause I get money per click. Give back to the Admin team for once!

#8 Delta

Delta

    Member

  • Members
  • 8 posts

Posted 30 April 2005 - 04:30 PM

Like I voted, it sucked. Talio, does it hurt learning how to write properly,oh yeah, your too stupid to know!
  • 0

#9 THIRST

THIRST

    Member

  • Members
  • 1,099 posts

Posted 30 April 2005 - 05:59 PM

Delta, that made no sence. And get off my avatar son.

THIRST
  • 0
ko

#10 LiKnSmAkScOmIn

LiKnSmAkScOmIn

    Member

  • Members
  • 292 posts

Posted 30 April 2005 - 08:51 PM

Talio, does it hurt learning how to write properly,oh yeah, your too stupid to know!

Heed your own advice, kid.

^_^
  • 0
Morons With Guns own you.

#11 VACC

VACC

    Vacc is Legend

  • Founders
  • 3,265 posts

Posted 30 April 2005 - 09:58 PM

TALIO, SNAP SON!!!! YOU DONE READ THAT!?!?! You got served
  • 0

#12 pinhead52

pinhead52

    Member

  • Members
  • 193 posts

Posted 01 May 2005 - 01:26 AM

Wow, I don't even know how to respond. You need to do some research, the .44 Mark VII was discontinued a few years ago... so no, you're wrong "dumbfuck". And besides, I was talking about the 50 when I said it was tactically stupid, and the 44 has an 8 rd capacity and there is absolutely NO reason an army would issue one thousand dollar pistols to their entire infantry.

Listen, I know where you're coming from, when I was 15 I thought I knew everything too, but you need to start doing research before spewing your idiocy around the internet.
  • 0

#13 AirApache

AirApache

    Member

  • Members
  • 743 posts

Posted 01 May 2005 - 03:09 AM

As heated as this is, I think its actually pretty cool to read through all your (pl.) knowledge or lack thereof on military weapons and such.

THIRST, wasn't Israel backed by the US? I'm not really sure, but that's the impression that I got from what I've learned. Not trying to make the Israeli's sound incompetent or anything, but I suppose support from the US DOES have quite an impact on your military power, right?

AA
  • 0
Indiana '11

#14 GeneralPrimevil

GeneralPrimevil

    Member

  • Members
  • 578 posts

Posted 01 May 2005 - 07:42 AM

Pinhead, don't make yourself look stupid. First off, the DEagle is still available in .44 Mag and .357 Mag, along with the popular . 50AE. Not only are all three the same pistol with different barrels (and a different bolt face for the .357), all parts are interchangeable. There is such a thing as a caliber conversion kit*. .44 Mag barrels and recoil springs are still in production to use in place of the .50AE barrel and spring. The magazine is the same too, as the case length and all rim specs are the same for the .44 Mag and .50AE. Magnum Research made the Action Express to fit the dimensions of the .44 Magnum. The DEagle has been referred to as a target pistol, and so has the 1911 series and the M92 series (same as military M9).

Also, it is possible to aim a pistol one-handed. Aim, not fire, although I'm comfortable firing .22 Short, Long Rifle, and WMR pistols single-handed anyday.

Now are we going to talk about the SVD and its very low accuracy of 2 MOA yet being used as a DMR? Also, the 7.62x54R Russian is a very loud cartridge. It is a medium length cartridge, not fitting in the long action (30-06 Springfield, 63mm case length) or short actions (.308 Winchester, 51mm case length). Quite personally I would've given Knife an M21, as it is semi-auto like the SVD but has better accuracy and a quieter cartridge (.308 Win.). After that, I strongly suggest we read that story as a fiction and not as a realistic fiction. This is NerfHaven, not ShootersForum?. Although there have been a few boundary breaker ideas on this site.

*Or no kit. Most modern long rotating bolt action magnum receivers can be converted to any caliber, as long as one knows a good gunsmith/machinist. If the caliber conversion remains within a bolt face group (like the .308, 30-06, .35 Whelen, any cartridge based on the 30-06), a very easy barrel swap is all that is required. If you believe otherwise, just remember that the chamber of a rifle's action is cut into the barrel, so headspacing a bottleneck cartridge requires shortening or lengthening the mating surface to the reciever on the barrel itself. 10 points for the longest footnote! ^_^
  • 0
"Fear the man with one gun, for he probably knows how to use it."

#15 THIRST

THIRST

    Member

  • Members
  • 1,099 posts

Posted 01 May 2005 - 10:00 AM

there is absolutely NO reason an army would issue one thousand dollar pistols to their entire infantry.

I said special forces.

wasn't Israel backed by the US

Not military-wise.

You need to do some research, the .44 Mark VII was discontinued a few years ago

Rong.

And besides, I was talking about the 50 when I said it was tactically stupid, and the 44 has an 8 rd capacity

A 1 bullet difference, and a bit less power? What a "tactical difference".

THIRST

Edited by THIRST, 01 May 2005 - 10:00 AM.

  • 0
ko

#16 GeneralPrimevil

GeneralPrimevil

    Member

  • Members
  • 578 posts

Posted 01 May 2005 - 05:01 PM

I believe we can settle this. If Israel doesn't use DEagles as a special sidearm, then they don't use the Uzi as a general MP. The general sidearm is the Baby Eagle, however the Desert Eagle is a special issue weapon, just as the 1911 now is a special issue as opposed to the M9 and the M4/M15 SPC a special issue instead of the M16A2. Even still, the DEagle could be supplied to ranking or high-marks losers.
  • 0
"Fear the man with one gun, for he probably knows how to use it."

#17 boltsniper

boltsniper

    Member

  • Contributors
  • 591 posts

Posted 01 May 2005 - 10:31 PM

Man if I only had a smiley with a big ole dick wagging, I`d post the shit out of it here......

You guys are nuts. Quit plastering every tiny bit of firearm jargon you think you know all over these boards. That goes forthe lot of you....

Primevil, the M15 only exists as a military rifle in the airsoft world. Armalite uses "M15" as their designation for their semiauto AR15 derivatives. In most modern assault rifles headspace is set by the barrel extension which is fixed to end of the barrel. This means headspace is never an issue and caliber changes can be made by swapping the barrel and bolt if needed. That is one of the points that makes the AR15 platform so desirable. AR's have been chamberd in 17 HMR all the way up to 50AE.

I`ve had the pleasure (or not) of shooting 50AE Desert Eagle. First off, it is a massive handgun and I wouldn`t want it as a carry pistol due to its size and weight alone. Although quite impressive to shoot, it produces a huge muzzle flash and kick is ruthless. I`m sure the 44 and 357 are more controllable but its still to big of a weapon for a regular sidearm. If the Israeli's issue them itslikely because its a homegrown product....

It depends on what you consider accurate. I can shoot cans over at 50yds one handed and 75 yds with 2. I can do it with both my P99 in 9mm and my USP in 45. You can`t expect more than that out of a service pistol anyway.

Status: This model (Mark VII) is no longer manufactured, please see our current Mark XIX models.


Edited by boltsniper, 02 May 2005 - 08:46 PM.

  • 0

#18 pinhead52

pinhead52

    Member

  • Members
  • 193 posts

Posted 02 May 2005 - 08:56 AM

OK, I can admit I got carried away, but I've never heard anything other than ideas that a 50 cal handgun with 7 bullets to a clip is unreasonable. If you like it, more power to you.

Oh, and trust me, the mark VII was discontinued. It's not in production anymore. You, my friend are "rong". There is a .44 mark XIX, like General said, but I really wasn't expecting anyone who knew what they were talking about to join the conversation. But if that is the case (and no other makes any sense) then I am done with this conversation. My beef is only with the .50 DE, not the baby, not the .44, not even the .357. I don't know anything about any of the others. Besides, boltsniper's actually fired one, and I have only seen one behind a glass wall.

Oh, and regarding the fact that the .44 has an 8 rd capacity, you accented my point exactly. It only has 1 bullet more, no tactical difference, still crap.

Oh, you got my name wrong in all your quotes. "Pin". I know it's tricky, it's like what you write with, but with an "I" instead.
  • 0

#19 Jin Kazama

Jin Kazama

    Member

  • Members
  • 119 posts

Posted 02 May 2005 - 09:30 AM

That one was alot better, though as was said the main character was pretty bland. All and all though it was intresting and readable.
  • 0
Webmaster of Ultima Nerf

#20 i h8 hippies

i h8 hippies

    Member

  • Members
  • 41 posts

Posted 03 May 2005 - 05:30 PM

It was good, but you have a long way to go before your Tom Clancy.
  • 0

#21 Davis

Davis

    Member

  • Members
  • 210 posts

Posted 03 May 2005 - 05:44 PM

It's too straight-foward. I'm in a hurry so I won't go into detail, but you also ripped off The Godfather Returns where in fact a Mafia loser is hired to kill Castro, but gets caught.

Edited by Davis, 03 May 2005 - 05:50 PM.

  • 0
QUOTE ("Devious")
2. Laugh like a maniac as you pummel them with your balls.

#22 Suave

Suave

    Member

  • Members
  • 186 posts

Posted 03 May 2005 - 06:03 PM

I liked it alright, it wasn't so much bad as raw. It was a bit rushed, I didn't like the .50 cal handgun, or that the "silencer" did anything. I've shot the second largest handgun in the world (I want to say .44 magnum, but it might've been something a big larger, sorry, I was just having fun shooting, not figuring out what exactly I was shooting); anyway, it was really loud, and kicked a lot. I wouldn't even want to shoot a .50

Give me a Sig Sauer P228 anyday.

Or a Glock 17, mmmmm, 17 round magazine.

I dont know who said it, but my buddy in law enforcement uses Glocks, and they have 17 round magazines.

So, I dunno if that helps.

Anyway, a bit of a rushed story, a bit undescriptive, a bit blank, but not the worst I've read.
  • 0


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users