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#1 KaptonKonfusion

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Posted 23 October 2004 - 01:38 AM

OK! I have figured it out! Ladies and Gentlemen the solution to our political problms.... We throw Dick and Bush and Johnx2 into... GLADITORIAL COMBAT!!! 2vs.2 winner take all! Any predictions?
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"Whoa whoa whoa... wait a sec, I can shoot people with guns... It hurts and there's no nasty paint left over?!?! That's freakin AWESOME!!!"

#2 moosenukem

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Posted 23 October 2004 - 01:53 AM

Uhhmm, yeah man, great idea. :mellow:
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#3 taita cakes

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Posted 23 October 2004 - 05:47 AM

Isn't this along the lines of celebrity deathmatch? I've never seen it so i wouldn't know, but it sounds similar.
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#4 Fuse

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Posted 23 October 2004 - 08:41 AM

I predict Bush running around screaming for his daddy... Even when no one is threatening him.
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Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily.

#5 KaptonKonfusion

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Posted 23 October 2004 - 10:48 AM

See even though Bush may be a crazy pres. i have a feeling he could kick some heavy ass... compared to Kerry and Cheney... but it would be a close match up between Bush and Kerry's running mate.

plus you know Bush is gonna pull out a 6 shooter and blast away.
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"Whoa whoa whoa... wait a sec, I can shoot people with guns... It hurts and there's no nasty paint left over?!?! That's freakin AWESOME!!!"

#6 Fuse

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Posted 23 October 2004 - 11:02 AM

I dont know. I get the feeling that Bush doesnt have a single scar on his body. He just doesnt seem like the kind of guy I would expect to have any fighting ability. Im assuming firearms are not allowed, otherwise the Johns are screwed.

Im not saying Kerry is Mr. Fightclub or anything, but regardless of the disputed records, he was in Viet Nam which counts for something almost no matter what he did there, and he's a tall mother too. He has good reach.

In the Dick/John matchup I again would have to go for the democrat. Im not optimistic about Dick's speed, though he may have some power.

Besides, you know the Johns would be double-teaming all over the place. Group hug!
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Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily.

#7 ompa

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Posted 23 October 2004 - 11:08 AM

Dick would have another heart attack, so the match would be defaulted.

~ompa

Edited by ompa, 23 October 2004 - 11:09 AM.

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#8 KaptonKonfusion

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Posted 23 October 2004 - 11:21 AM

Yeah Cheny would be the first to drop... (damn pig heart), but im still going with Bush over Kerry... Kerry may be tall... but bush is spunky and little tricky. And yeah firearms arent allowed only swords, maces, sheild, spears, daggers, nets, and tridents... and a lion! So im gonna say Bush is gonna grab a dagger (backstabber) Cheny is going to grab his chest and die (pacemaker). Kerry is going go for a sword and a mace (flip flopper) and John is gonna get shafted with the net.
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"Whoa whoa whoa... wait a sec, I can shoot people with guns... It hurts and there's no nasty paint left over?!?! That's freakin AWESOME!!!"

#9 Groove

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Posted 23 October 2004 - 01:18 PM

Cheney would fake a heart attack to make a diversion, and squeeze ketchup packets over his heart. Then, out of nowhere, Bush would grab some log and go captain Kirk on Kerry and tear his own clothes in a feral fashion. Then, in the end, he'd scream.

"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!"

Edited by GrOOvE, 23 October 2004 - 01:18 PM.

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"Too close for missiles, I'm switchin' to guns"


#10 Lemmypoo

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Posted 23 October 2004 - 10:49 PM

Cheney would fake a heart attack to make a diversion, and squeeze ketchup packets over his heart. Then, out of nowhere, Bush would grab some log and go captain Kirk on Kerry and tear his own clothes in a feral fashion. Then, in the end, he'd scream.

"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!"

Hrm, well we do it this way, Arnie and Jesse Ventura would probably rule the world.

But my thoughts:

Bush: Piss his pants, after Kerry punches him in the face with his purple heart fists of fury, compensates for the pain with alcohol, gets arrested for being drunk and disorderly.

Edwards: Looked well initially, but damn that inexperience! He eventually loses all of his teeth to the winner.

Kerry: Looks like the winner, while Cheney secludes himeself from the rest... and then loses to...

Chenthulhu! The elder god of all evil, he sucks all of his opponents' souls out from their bodies and becomes the lord of all that he surveys!

BOW TO THE MIGHTY OVERLORD!

And then Kerry gets up, gets his fourth purple heart, and blows Cheney apart with his Swiftboat's Ma-Deuce and then has a hotdog with extra heinz catsup to celebrate!
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Conner MacManus: Jesus! He brought a six-shooter!

Murphy MacManus: There were nine of them, you retard! What were you going to do with the last three, laugh them to death? Funny man?

-brothers Macmanus, Boondock Saints

#11 TimberwolfCY

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Posted 24 October 2004 - 01:07 AM

Cheney would fake a heart attack to make a diversion, and squeeze ketchup packets over his heart. Then, out of nowhere, Bush would grab some log and go captain Kirk on Kerry and tear his own clothes in a feral fashion. Then, in the end, he'd scream.

"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!"

Dude, you fucking rock. Period. The End.
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"Denial is the most predictable of all human responses. But, rest assured, this will be the sixth time we have destroyed it, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it." - The Architect, The Matrix: Reloaded

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#12 KaptonKonfusion

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Posted 24 October 2004 - 08:47 AM

That's pretty badass, but it would be more like Cheney fakes a heart attack... but Boba Fett swoops in and blasts the mo-fo's then Boba becomes President. (yes!)
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"Whoa whoa whoa... wait a sec, I can shoot people with guns... It hurts and there's no nasty paint left over?!?! That's freakin AWESOME!!!"

#13 rusty

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Posted 24 October 2004 - 01:08 PM

No, kerry is going to whip out botox needles and start throwing them like knives.
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#14 Ender

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Posted 25 October 2004 - 07:42 AM

I wouldn’t count out Cheney. He has been the guy behind the scenes for like 30 years. He probably had to pick up something crazy along the way, that and you can’t count out the old man strength. Either way it would sell out pay per view that is for sure.
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#15 KaptonKonfusion

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Posted 25 October 2004 - 07:38 PM

i would buy it on PPV and record it to my tivo... make dvds... sell them... make millions... the in 10 years capitilize off of the Presidential Kombat collectors edition... (thank you George Lucas!) Plus I think we shoud do tha for every election... its sweet
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"Whoa whoa whoa... wait a sec, I can shoot people with guns... It hurts and there's no nasty paint left over?!?! That's freakin AWESOME!!!"


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