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Trigger Happy Noobs

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#1 Movius

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 12:26 PM

I'm in a bit of a predicement. You see, whenever I introduce a new friend to the nerf community, they become as trigger happy as, well, I couldnt come up with a good enough simile. Free lance terrorists was the closest I got but it still wasnt that effective. For example, I went to my friends house and we went to Wal Mart to buy him a gun. When we got home, I was shot, at point blank, three times in the fase in the course of twenty minutes. We werent even having a war, we were just eating pizza! Just the other day one of my friends who is also new to nerf shot me just below the eye at point blank when we werent doing anything. And, perhaps the worst of all the incidents, another noob unloaded half a clip of micro stefans, again from point blank, from a modded PC on.........sigh...........my, um, manly pride. I was just sitting on the couch, not doing anything! In all of these situations, I cant think of anything I did to provoke them. These are just a few of the incidents that have happened to me. I have deemed noobs who do this "nooblets", the "lets" part represents how much more annoying and sometimes very childish they are getting. I'm getting kinda pissed and I'm trying to hold the anger in even though I want to beat the shit out of them. Has this happened to anyone else, or is it just my nooblets who do this? And if any of you nooblets are reading this, if you have to shoot us somewhere, for gods sake, not in the face and definently not in the balls. Thats just cruel. And, oh yeah, I might beat the shit out of you.

So, If you ever meet any of these nooblets, make sure to punch them in the face ahead of time because they sure are gonna piss you off later

Either that or cover your nuts and start running

just a warning
-Movius
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#2 DoubleLnL

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 12:36 PM

Sounds like some sort of strange pet.


My nooblets, they're hatching!
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#3 ompa

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 12:51 PM

I hear the sound of eggs cracking open in my closet.. AHH THEY'RE ON ME!! Anywyas, I have the same problem.. I have this kid who calls me about an average of 8 TIMES A FREAKIN WEEK about nerf guns.. my parents are seriously considering like calling his parents or something, this is getting ridiculous. And he only has one nerf gun anyways. He just keeps begging me to get him an x-bow or something. So Movius, you're not alone; however, whenever I'm with kids like that, I bring my trusty modded sm1000 (loaded) so if they even think about it... They'll regret it for quite some time.

~ompa
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#4 Movius

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 01:30 PM

Nooblets.....hmmmm....it does sound like a pet. Either that or something Long John Silvers would serve.


-Movius
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#5 Nazgul Lord

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 01:47 PM

Nooblets, that sounds like some sort of fuzzy small rodent animal. ;) :cry:
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#6 Movius

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 02:03 PM

You can treat them like rodents too!

"Get the hell out of here before I kick you in the face, you damn nooblet"
"Goddamn it, nooblet, look what you did. You managed to get it everywhere. Even the celing"
"Dont touch my pizza, nooblet, your not privlaged enough, go gnaw on the carpet"
"Nooblet! Tell your family they cant live under my porch!"

-Movius
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#7 rusty

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 02:41 PM

I have the same probloem with some of the converted paintballers. I guess they think because it's "childish nerf guns" it hurts less. After a while of them sneaking up on me and unloading PC's and at2/3/4's i got pissed and camped infront of each one of thems house. And when they came outside i shot them in the head with the most powerful gun i had at the time.
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#8 Groove

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 03:25 PM

Some of my friends used to do the exact same thing. That was, until I shot them back with a stronger modified weapon, like my Crossbow.

Now, we don't have that problem anymore.
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#9 SkiMan

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 04:03 PM

Use this:

http://www.geocities.../ultimator.html

Load a micro, aim at them and if they don't run away too quick blast 'em.
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#10 ompa

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 04:28 PM

!! The Ultimator!! I'm finally getting one of those! Sorry to get off topic, but anyone know a site that shows how to mod it? Just not the finished product?

"hands off my nooblet"

~ompa
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#11 SkiMan

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 04:59 PM

mmm, I'm not sure if you want to open it up. I tried to open it but felt like it was going to break somehow if I did. That one on the site is mine, and all I did was make an attachment that slips over the front to fire micro stefans. It's more of a 'scare factor' gun because with the huge garage door-style spring in there the recoil of the gun throws your aim off completely. It be better loaded with a ton of darts or bits of foam shotgun style.
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#12 cxwq

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 05:06 PM

Use this:

http://www.geocities.../ultimator.html

Load a micro, aim at them and if they don't run away too quick blast 'em.

Heh... it's like the Slashdot effect except with NH our web server annihilation super powers only work against Geocities.
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<meta name="cxwq" content="mostly water">

#13 ompa

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 05:17 PM

lol alright thanks Skiman. Just one last stupid question... even with the recoil, what's the range on it? Now I know it's impractical, but it sure must be fun as hell to use.

~ompa
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#14 SkiMan

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 06:03 PM

If the pic isn't loading on the page just do a right click, view picture. I don't think you guys have ran out the bandwith already...

Never really measured the range, but I'd say it's on par with a well-modded Splitfire. The thing about that gun is it produces a huge volume of air, but there's not very much pressure behind it. If the dart is really tight in the barrel a lot of the air will be blown out the sides of the gun, making it a poor candidate for PVC. If I were to do it again I'd use brass or PETG on the barrel. I'm sure it would make more sense if I could get the darn thing open, but it doesn't seem to use the traditional plunger/tube design of other spring Nerf guns.
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#15 DoubleLnL

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 06:56 PM

For some reason when ompa said THEY'RE ON ME, a weird Tolkein quote flashed into my mind.

We cannot get out. We cannot get out. They have taken the Bridge and the second hall. We cannot get out. The end comes. Drums, drums in the deep! They are here.
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#16 UpGraD3

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 07:17 PM

For some reason when ompa said THEY'RE ON ME, a weird Tolkein quote flashed into my mind.

We cannot get out. We cannot get out. They have taken the Bridge and the second hall. We cannot get out. The end comes. Drums, drums in the deep! They are here.

Take cover! Sorry just had to do that, yeah my grandpa grabbed my nf and shot me from like 1 ft. away. I was like wow :cry: .

Edited by UpGraD3, 04 April 2004 - 07:17 PM.

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#17 SkiMan

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 07:24 PM

Yeah, good quote. Moria is an interesting place, I liked that part of the book.
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#18 ompa

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 07:39 PM

hm... maybe I'll work on a mod for the Ultimator to seal up all those cracks eh? Then there shall be havoc in my neighborhood haha! LOTR all the way! (ok I'm done)

~ompa
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#19 Movius

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 07:50 PM

Tee hee! A flood of nooblets, a funny, but not so happy thought.

"The nooblets scream battle cries of "I need more ammo, GIVE ME MORE AMMO!" and "Hit them in the nuts, you can take them down" in various lisps and nerdy, high pitched voices. Movius is terrified. He sits on the couch in horror, afraid to move. He hasnt done anything to them but for some reason they charge forward. As Movius watches, they get out computers and repeatadly double post, refusing to use the EDIT button. They spell words as if they were talking to their nooblet friends on AIM, spelling you "u" and sorry"sry", and perhaps one of the worst: LOL. "Is there any other way to laugh? What purpose does the "out loud" sereve?" Movius asked himself in agony. As they got closer he saw them flaming everyone on the forums for no reason, they heavely flamed the veterans. He saw them pumping up Power Clips and firing them just to hear that really annoying loud ass sound that it makes. Movius dropped to his knees. The ground shook, they weilded peices of PVC pipe covered in foam that resembled swords. Movius couldnt bear to look anymore. A hail of stefans aimed at his face and groin flew from the croud of the slimy, disgusting nooblets. They continued to advance with their crappy PVC swords that would never achive anything in a war. Movius looked up to see that each nooblet had only one nitefinder that was un-modded, but they kept saying they had alot of expirience with guns. Then movius saw nooblets that had paintball masks. They were the painballers who thought nerf didnt hurt. Next came the nooblets who keep calling your house to talk about nerf and mooch off your supplys. After that, the nooblets who will ask you for guns, but never give specifics. They drop really lame hints like: "I need a really good loser but I dont want the dart to go that far" or "I want a gun that a ninja would use". Movius nearly vomited with rage and frustration. The last wave of nooblets was the worst: The Idiot Nooblets, who seem to be a combination of all the other species of Nooblet. They will try to pull the barrel out of your gun, they will try to hit you with the butt of their gun, they will call you and double post and say and do the dumbest things. They will give you a gun to mod then call you up five minutes later to see if your done. When you tell them the Epoxy takes twenty four hours to dry they call you back an hour later to see if its done. Movius got up, a feeling of empowerment came over him . Movius yelled "YOU NOOBLETS SHALL NOT PASS". At that very moment, every nooblet suddenly turned into a regular nerfer. All was well, Yay.



-Movius

-Sorry for baggin on PVC weapons. But c'mon, we all know playing with them sucks and they never do anything.
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#20 Black Wrath

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 08:49 PM

After a few grammatical and spelling changes...

You sir, should write a book.
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#21 DoubleLnL

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 09:23 PM

After a few grammatical and spelling changes...

You sir, should write a book.


Ahahaha.... that's gotta be one of the top ten funniest things I've ever heard.

Edited by DoubleLnL, 04 April 2004 - 09:39 PM.

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#22 cxwq

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 10:43 PM

I'm going to have to insist that you all stop using the word "nooblet" on this site. For after nooblet comes cookies and trout and all manner of emotes and general mayhem ensues as NH becomes NC.
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#23 MysticFalcon182

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 10:53 PM

Some of my friends used to do the exact same thing. That was, until I shot them back with a stronger modified weapon, like my Crossbow.

Now, we don't have that problem anymore.

I remember some friends ridiculing Nerf. I shot them with my SM5k. *Joy*

Also, we were playing Halo once on LAN. My friend sniped me in the game and I died, so I grabbed my SM5k, went into the other room, and shot him in the side of the head. I thought I killed him or someting because he wasn't moving in Halo...

Have fun. Don't mention a thing about H2H and make some "foamed" PVC swords :P

~Mystic~
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#24 neonerfer

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 11:16 PM

I'm going to have to insist that you all stop using the word "nooblet" on this site. For after nooblet comes cookies and trout and all manner of emotes and general mayhem ensues as NH becomes NC.

yO KeVin!!!111one

cAn wE plz plz plz have a nerf RPG?!!! OMG tAhT WULD BE SOOOOO FREICKEN SWEET!!! wE CuLd hAve likee mAdE up sup3r gunz and flYinG skooterz and bAseS and stuff!
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#25 Zero Talent

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Posted 04 April 2004 - 11:46 PM

Nananananananana! Gunther! Gunther! Gunther!

/me jumps on the facetious realization bandwagon, w00t's
*runs away*

As fun as all of this is, perhaps it is best we all progress to less childish communication. Now everyone must make a subtle penis joke, and then we can move on.
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