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Nerf Wars On Wikipedia

You'll laugh your dick off

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#1 Talio

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 12:07 PM

Okay, I don't know who wrote this, but I found it on NHQ and we got a damn good laugh at it on the chat so check this shit out:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NERF_wars

Does anyone with half a brain know how to edit Wikipedia pages? Cause we really need to do something about that.

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#2 loni

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 12:11 PM

That is awesome! I particulaly like how in depth they go with certain things, but its more common sense than anything. Honestly that must have taken a couple day (probably more) to write everything out.


"Bases
Each base should have at least a sentry/gunner's station or two, an ammo dump/gun holds, and parking for one/two tanks."

HAHAHAHAH, I feel like whoever wrote this replaced Halo 1,2,and 3 descriptions with NERF.

Awesome find!

-Loni

Edited by loni, 23 July 2009 - 12:13 PM.

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#3 CA13

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 12:27 PM

What the fuck? There are classes in Nerf? Named after ones from Call of Duty 4?

I'm going to track down the editor of this article.

Ballguns are called Ballistic Ball Grenade Launchers. How queer is that? Like they explode on contact or you yell an onomatopoeia every time a ball hits the ground?
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#4 Captain

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 12:36 PM

Whoever felt the need to write all the crap about tactics and classes just doesn't get it. The point is to use whatever blaster you like the best and have fun. Is that so hard for goobers and n00bs to understand?

EDIT: Oh dear god. I just scrolled through all the rest of it. They typed a freaking novel! That did make me laugh.

Edited by Captain, 23 July 2009 - 12:40 PM.

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#5 pjotrkuh

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 12:43 PM

Read the Nerf tank bit.....

Hilarious.....

Edited by pjotrkuh, 23 July 2009 - 12:46 PM.

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#6 berserker

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 12:43 PM

That is horrible. Probably written by some kid with far too much imagination and not enough actual nerf-war experience. The plus side is that any of us can go in there and erase/edit what they wrote. So have at it.
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#7 VelveetaAvenger

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 12:50 PM

If you shot off a leg and the nerfer falls, then you can come up to them and take a "fatal" shot in the head or something like it. This is way easier if you have a Titan rocket launcher ad you can blowoff the legs or kill the person directly.

Compared to this all the wars I've been to have been pretty lame. Nobody's even lost an eye, much less a leg.

Hit and Run: This tactic is not often seen, as it is looked down upon by most nerfers because it is so brutal and hard to do. Basically, you take your squad, shoot some enemies, and run (hence the name).


Edited by VelveetaAvenger, 23 July 2009 - 12:52 PM.

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#8 Carbon

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 12:54 PM

Eh, some people play this way. Not how we do it, but it's definitely not unheard of. Keep in mind that we're discussing the proper definition of Nerf War. The ground we stand on is already pretty damn geeky.

That said, it'd be nice to differentiate between what we call Nerf Wars, and Milsim.

Edited by Carbon, 23 July 2009 - 12:56 PM.

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#9 elf avec gun

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 12:58 PM

Has anyone ever seen someone with a nerf tank?
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#10 bookybabora

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 01:09 PM

This is clearly all true.
/sarcasm

I don't mind it if people take about how some nerf wars can have "classes" but this whole article went above and beyond.
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#11 spartan062

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 01:15 PM

Whoever typed that probably has never been to a good Nerf war.

It's simple:

Take gun of choice, run up to enemy, shoot enemy, repeat.

If it is Capture the Flag: take gun of choice, run up to enemy "base", shoot enemies as encountered, grab flag, run like hell back to your base.
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#12 Captain Scottland

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 01:25 PM

"certain locations even have bi-annual and tri-annual wars."

Hmmm... That's weird I don't know of any wars that happen once every two years or once every three years.

Honestly, I feel like this is just some kid who doesn't even have a NERF gun and just thought all this up in his head. Upon this thought and his utter lack of friends, he decided to take 10 hours to type this page.
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#13 Poseidon

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 01:29 PM

Psh... if anyone actually wanted to fix this and came up with something good, I've got a Wikipedia editing account I could put it up with. Very amusing though.
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#14 Vengeful Waffle

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 01:30 PM

This article has roots that are older then you think.

This was how nerf was played (minus some ridiculous parts) Back in the 1996-2000 era. Back when all of the NIC belong to a little E-Mail chain called nerflist. And noobs feared the court of popetacious.

But, this is certainly ridiculous. Can some one fix that?
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#15 Paloose

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 01:38 PM

I love the Bomber war specialist. "These guys can use the buttstock of their weapon to attack (only in certain wars, not in the majority) or homemade NERF grenades."

I can tell you right now that if anyone hits me with the buttstock of their weapon than someone's gonna get punched in the dick.
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#16 Blacksunshine

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 02:05 PM

You don't need an account. just click on the right where it says edit.

You notice near the end of the article I've added some *edits
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#17 RVMVTVProductions

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 02:14 PM

Want to know what's funny?
It use to be better.

How do I know?
That's how I found NerfHaven. Look at the sources at the bottom.

It used to actually described our events, such as 3 15, 4 20, Capture the Flag, and other things involving OUR war play.
I have laughed my dick off at what this has become.

Someone change the name to "Mil- Sim Nerfing".


VERY IMPORTANT EDIT:
Actually, change the title and move the "Internet Community Nerf Wars" part out.
Or just make that the only section like it used to be.

Edited by RVMVTVProductions, 23 July 2009 - 02:19 PM.

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#18 TantumBull

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 02:34 PM

Am I the only one that has a nerf counter-loser class? Jeez, I thought this was pretty accurate.

Edited by TantumBull, 23 July 2009 - 02:35 PM.

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#19 Keith

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 06:53 PM

Want to know what's funny?
It use to be better.


It used to actually described our events, such as 3 15, 4 20, Capture the Flag, and other things involving OUR war play.
I have laughed my dick off at what this has become.

Someone change the name to "Mil- Sim Nerfing".


This is true, I saw this a few months back and it was nowhere near this stupid. Could it just be reverted?
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#20 aamiller321

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 07:07 PM

Many poeple are famous for winning many Nerf wars. Some famous Nerf soldiers, commanders, generals, and strategists/tacticians are: "Evil Angel" (tactician/Lawn Chair Mafia(LCM)member), "The Four Horsemen" (supersoldier/commando/strategists squad), and others


My god....
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QUOTE(sidamazo @ Nov 20 2008, 03:51 PM) View Post

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Challenge me
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#21 Kalex

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 08:29 PM

I edited it earlier, saying that almost nobody uses the class system any more. That's still there, I think.
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QUOTE(VACC @ Dec 3 2008, 07:51 AM)  

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#22 Echnalaid

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 08:41 PM

Was it Goober written?
I cracked up.

CQC is a basic martial art style that involves using handguns, as described in the MGS series.
I think whoever wrote that meant CQB.
Since the 3:15 rule i mentioned, I guess someone here must've wrote it. Since a goober wouldn't know what that was from Youtube alone.
(Not goober as in ice goober, but RETARD goober)

Edited by Echnalaid, 23 July 2009 - 08:47 PM.

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#23 HeracrossKid

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 08:45 PM

Because of that terrible article, my dick almost fell off. I find it a little funny that people would play like that. It almost defeats the purpose of Nerf.
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#24 Kalex

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 09:00 PM

GAAAH more edits. The original writer was a real asshat.
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QUOTE(VACC @ Dec 3 2008, 07:51 AM)  

Remember kids, only you can prevent herpes! Or was it something else? Dirty fucking bear.



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#25 Colbs

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 09:50 PM

Someone should edit the part that says

Firefly REV-8: Bullpup revolver.


That is bugging the shit out of me!
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