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#1 Grinch

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Posted 22 November 2003 - 06:36 PM

This certainly cracked me up...

The New California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the state, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Austro-English" (or, perhaps even better, "Austrionics".)

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
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#2 Sylent Blade

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Posted 22 November 2003 - 08:21 PM

Now where the hell did you find that? That is genius, quite clever too.

That made my evening... although I didn't laugh out loud, certainly did in my head. That's very cool.

SB is out.
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#3 Mantis

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Posted 23 November 2003 - 12:56 AM

Hahahaha I didn't get it was gonna end up German until the w and v part. I figured it was making fun of retarded people who own keyboards.
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#4 neonerfer

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Posted 23 November 2003 - 01:27 AM

That's the funniest thing that I've read in a long time. Thanks for sharing that with us.
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#5 Daedarus

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Posted 23 November 2003 - 10:34 AM

And thus the decay of western society... that is one of the funniest things I have ever read.
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#6 waspy

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Posted 23 November 2003 - 12:37 PM

That is great :P
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#7 Grinch

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Posted 23 November 2003 - 03:59 PM

Yeah, sure cracked me up. Got it in an email.
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#8 Alexthebeast

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Posted 23 November 2003 - 09:10 PM

So the last part is actually german eh?
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#9 Mantis

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Posted 23 November 2003 - 09:11 PM

Hahahahaha who else was watching Snatch tonight and laughed their ass off extra hard everytime "zee Germans" was said because of this? No one? I did.
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