Jump to content

The Fred's Content

There have been 50 items by The Fred (Search limited from 30-March 93)

By content type

See this member's

Sort by                Order  

#331579 Apocalypse 2013

Posted by The Fred on 05 July 2013 - 07:40 AM in Nerf Wars

Though I can be injury-prone... I plan to be there. Looking forward to it.

#235039 Ddt.........s

Posted by The Fred on 08 June 2009 - 06:49 PM in Nerf Wars

In what I think is my first NerfHaven post since 2005, I confirm my attendance on June 27th. Looking forward to it!

#61147 Nj Apoc 4

Posted by The Fred on 04 August 2005 - 09:44 PM in Nerf Wars

Alright, now that I've had my period, and me and Fred are lovers again, who's actually coming to the biggest and baddest war of the summer THIS side of the mississippi?

Period = Bad.
Hersh's Period = Worse.
Period Sex = The rough equivalent of those frontal lobotomies they used to give retarded people, where they'd give you a local anesthetic and then shove an ice pick under your eyeballs and into your brain.
Period Sex with Hersh = When words are invented to describe something this disgusting, I'll be sure to let you know.


P.S. I love you, Hersh.

#61090 Nj Apoc 4

Posted by The Fred on 04 August 2005 - 07:47 AM in Nerf Wars

Fred, when was the last time u MADE a fucking war?  On another note, it seems like the real nerfers will show up and have a time.  If anyone plans on being a fag about it and "not in the mood" or some other lame ass shit, then by all means stay the fuck home.  Not my fault if you're "not feeling it lately."  Grow the fuck up, its NERF.  It's something we all have been doing for over 3 years together now.

Whatever happens, APOC is gonna be the shit.


It was the Deal War on June 25th, which, if my memory serves me right, was only about six weeks ago or so. I couldn't stay at "Hershfest" long because my roommate (one of my oldest friends) had his 21st birthday party the night before, and I was partying in New Brunswick until about 7 am or so. I also had pre-existing dinner plans for later that afternoon in Middletown, meaning I had to leave at 3 so I could run some errands, take a shower, and wipe the disgusting after-aroma of sweat and beer off of myself.

As for my tendency to skip out on smaller, spur-of-the-moment, less organized events, I guess the best and most honest way to explain this is that I really don't care enough about this stuff to attend them. From reading the boards, I know I'm not the only one who shares this (at least implied) feeling. I've got more crap going on right now that I ever have had before in my life, and I'm just a little too busy right now to, pretty much on a whim, spend what is probably my one free day of the week Nerfing on that consistent of a basis.

You're welcome to your opinions, and as a friend, I'm not going to challenge them in a public forum. Sorry if I've insulted you.

There comes a time when everyone has to prioritize, at least a little bit.


#61046 Nj Apoc 4

Posted by The Fred on 03 August 2005 - 02:18 PM in Nerf Wars

HAHA!  Nobody finds that park the first time.  Hell the Philly kids almost drown getting there if I remember correctly.  I ended up at an elementry school.  It's fucking hidden.


Maybe it has something to do with being born in NJ, but Fred found it on the first try, and the first time I drove there when I got my license I found it by memory without directions. Of course the last time I went I couldn't even remember what exit it's off of, but that's besides the point...

That's just because my navigational abilities are far superior to all of yours (unless, that is, I happen to be in the shower at the time).

It doesn't look like I'm going to be able to make it. I've got a lot of stuff going on this weekend at Rutgers and whatever time I'm not spending in front of the computer typing out project requests for work is going to be spent getting plastered.

Look forward to seeing you guys soon though.


#59380 July 23-24 Nj War

Posted by The Fred on 15 July 2005 - 10:38 AM in Nerf Wars

Not sure if I can make this one. I may have a pre-existing thing going on up by school that I have to attend. I will keep you posted, as I am invariably sure you, you know, fucking care.


#58563 Done Deal: War Wrap-up

Posted by The Fred on 01 July 2005 - 08:54 PM in Nerf Wars

Guys -

Had a great time last Saturday at the war. It was fucking exhausting by the end of it, but it was the good kind of exhausting. You guys know the criticisms (there were few) that I had on Juggernaut and Captain Falls, but both of the scenarios seem workable. More importantly than the gameplay, it was great having everyone together again. Can't wait for the next war - and if cigars and whiskey are involved, can't wait for the postwar either.


#57958 Nj: June 25th

Posted by The Fred on 22 June 2005 - 10:57 PM in Nerf Wars

Vacc or Chris,

What time can we expect to be finished? If it's after 4 pm, is it allright if I just follow one of your cars to the park? It looks like I'm gonna need to skip out at around 4 to make an appearance at my cousin's graduation party.

We'll be at Vacc's before 9:50 am on Saturday.


#57478 Nj: June 25th

Posted by The Fred on 13 June 2005 - 09:22 PM in Nerf Wars

Famine et al,

I'll be there on the 25th.


#57373 Attn Nj Nerfers

Posted by The Fred on 12 June 2005 - 07:37 PM in Off Topic

Hersh "Can I Buy a Vowel" Hyryryryryryryryryryryrysyhysn,

I am totally there. We'll have to get Phil trashed... or maybe not.


#55638 Late May War

Posted by The Fred on 25 May 2005 - 07:38 PM in Nerf Wars

It looks like I'm out for this one. My dad is driving up from Florida to spend Memorial Day weekend with my little sis and I and I'm also getting a new truck out of it, so I'd be a dick not to spend some time with the man. I'm sorry about this. There's a chance I might be in Ocean County (Ortley Beach, to be specific) with my pop the day of the war, so if I am, one of you can expect a phone call from me and it can be drinking time in the evening, perhaps?


#54576 Late May War

Posted by The Fred on 10 May 2005 - 08:43 PM in Nerf Wars

Concur. (On the gratuitous birthday sex part, not the political incorrectness. After all, that's the best part of a birthday celebration).

I should be at the war assuming I don't have to work overtime.


#52575 Looked For Porn, Found Nerf?

Posted by The Fred on 15 April 2005 - 02:46 PM in Off Topic

Just for the record, the inanity and vulgarity of the LGLF website has given me cause to convert to Evangelical Christianity. Henceforth, all war writeups will no longer be penned by The Fred, but instead by his holier counterpart, Rev. Cleatus Brown, otherwise known as "Sexual Chocolate."

The Fred

#47589 Nj March War, Via The Viking

Posted by The Fred on 19 February 2005 - 11:35 PM in Nerf Wars

I'm in. And, Hersh... I'm going to stay, too, you f***er. :lol: Thanks, Talio, for using my gun as a benchmark for what's allowed... if that damned thing still shot like it used to when it was first modded, your rules might have granted the Philly kids an outside shot at bringing their 2ks. As it stands though, looking forward to a good time.


#43447 New Reckoning Poll

Posted by The Fred on 06 December 2004 - 05:08 PM in Nerf Wars

I, too, am going to refrain from voting at this point. If I am in NJ, I will be able to make it, but there is a good chance I will be visiting family in Florida at some time during break - I don't know when yet.


#39231 Fall '04 Dcno2

Posted by The Fred on 18 October 2004 - 10:22 PM in Nerf Wars

Langley, your always welcomed if you spoon with me afterwards.

Well don't I feel left out.


#38999 Politics 'n Food

Posted by The Fred on 15 October 2004 - 12:15 AM in Off Topic

How about Nader and Gin and Tonic?


#36573 People Taken To Jail And Guns Confiscated For Nerf

Posted by The Fred on 06 September 2004 - 11:29 PM in General Nerf

It looks like the representations my Java book uses for illustrating recursion. "A NerfHaven thread post is either an empty post or a post followed by a NerfHaven thread post."

The Fred

#34221 [ec] Gnomefest3 August 21st

Posted by The Fred on 17 August 2004 - 07:50 PM in Nerf Wars

The more the merrier. If we get too many people (significantly > 20) we'll have to make some plans as to maybe splitting up the wars Cali style, but as long as we don't maim/hurt/kill anyone at the park there shouldn't be any legal issues.

More info will be coming in the near future.

The Fred

#33578 [ec] Gnomefest3 August 21st

Posted by The Fred on 09 August 2004 - 04:24 PM in Nerf Wars

Fair enough...trust me, we're all whipped, and for good reason.

I don't know if the term "whipped," which has serious negative connotation, can possibly be applied to the upshot of being "whipped," which is having lots and lots of sex - an undoubtedly good thing.

But yes, Talio, we ARE all whipped... to varying degrees. Maybe Langley would be, too, if his girl weren't jail bait.

The Fred

#33204 [ec] Gnomefest3 August 21st

Posted by The Fred on 05 August 2004 - 01:25 PM in Nerf Wars

It'll be great seeing you guys at GnomeFEST on the 21st. I'm really happy to see that so many people are trying to make it. To Marco et al.: Don't confuse us getting pissed off in the middle of a war for us not liking you or not wanting you there. We have good wars when you guys are around, and I look forward to seeing the Philly group again on the 21st. This, however, does NOT abstain me from screaming, yelling, and/or cursing if one of your shots gets lucky and hits me in the nether regions.

The Fred

#32870 Nj Apoc '04

Posted by The Fred on 01 August 2004 - 09:57 PM in Nerf Wars

Had a great time at Apoc this year. The ride down in the rain was interesting, the visit from certain corporate dignitaries was fun, and the wars were excellent. I enjoyed myself.

Most amazingly, Langley drove the entire way without incident, accident, or disruption of the time-space continuum.

Thanks for a good day.

The Fred

#32091 [ec] Gnomefest3 August 21st

Posted by The Fred on 22 July 2004 - 01:43 PM in Nerf Wars

YES. I mean, NO, I will NOT fall in the tub.

I look forward to seeing all of you at our GnomeFEST3, Saturday, August 21, 2004. Make sure you either post here or PM Langley to let us know if you will be in attendance. As always, if you have any questions or anything, we'd be happy to hear them and laugh at you.

Take it easy, guys.

The Fred

P.S. We are looking into purchasing a HUGE master roll (775') of the finest 5/8" FBR that we can find. Would anyone be interested in buying some at roughly $0.20 a foot? Minimum order of 50'. It's a really good deal and you'd be buying through us and the manufacturer (Randall Mfg.), that's it. Let us know if you'd be interested.

#30999 The Michael Moore Movie

Posted by The Fred on 12 July 2004 - 04:50 PM in Off Topic

I, too, saw F-911 having already made up my mind as to whom I am going to cast my vote for in November (Kerry). I found the movie interesting and, in many ways accurate. Although I do not like Michael Moore and find his radically-leftist agenda annoying and occasionally disgusting, he did an excellent job of portraying the ridiculous and befuddled nature of the Bush administration up to, during, and after the September 11th, attacks. The clips with that one border patrol agent -- who works part-time to cover a 50-mile-long stretch of land -- are not an isolated incident. Sure, give us a sugar-coated "Terror Alert Color Coded System" to let us know when we should be scared in an Elevated fashion and when we should be scared in a High fashion, but let's just leave the U.S.-Mexico and U.S. Canada (God, I hate those Canadians) borders open and understaffed for people to just waltz in.

Some of Moore's claims were ridiculous, though. What did you all think of the beginning clips from the section on Iraq; namely, the ones that showed happy Iraqi children playing in parks, and liberated, fearless women sipping coffee in outdoor cafes, apparently unfazed by Saddam Hussein's "benevolent" regime? Sure, we may have gone into Iraq based on Bush's personal agenda, but don't feed us B.S. stating that Saddam wasn't such a bad guy to his people. He did gas 10,000 Kurds (with our VX gas) because he didn't like the threat their religion posed on his Ba'athist regime.

The Fred

#23962 Merry Men Of Michigan!

Posted by The Fred on 10 April 2004 - 11:30 PM in General Nerf

One thing I've never been able to figure out (or taken the time to do so), is what the hell fegelehs means.

Uhh... gay?

The Fred

#23120 April Invitational War

Posted by The Fred on 01 April 2004 - 01:29 AM in Nerf Wars

I'll be eating my fiber and ruffage the night before the war. There will be no rapid bathroom excursions for me in the middle of the war. Damn delicious medium-rare, greasy 12 oz. deluxe cheeseburgers.

Langley is in charge of my nutritional intake. I will be eating those potato chips, though...

The Fred

#22985 Any Nj Eb Nerfers Out There?

Posted by The Fred on 30 March 2004 - 10:47 PM in Nerf Wars

Fool, the asians are at rutgers, and they are in all my business classes


Let's face it, they're EVERYWHERE. I mean, come on. Half of them don't even speak ENGLISH.

Disclaimer: I only hate Asians who smell funny.

#22909 Any Nj Eb Nerfers Out There?

Posted by The Fred on 30 March 2004 - 03:22 PM in Nerf Wars

...unless those Asians attended Rutgers, meaning they would steal all of the A's in your Calculus classes, drive riced-out Honda Civics with no-dick mufflers, and stink up the hallways of your residence halls with the putrid aroma of fish.

#20009 The Lglf Official Guide To Stefan Making

Posted by The Fred on 26 February 2004 - 09:44 PM in Articles


Langley can speak for himself, but don't knock every member of the LGLF's sauce-making capabilities before you learn their stories. Women flock to a man with a big gun. (That's why Langley can speak for himself)

The Fred

#17375 Nj Spring War

Posted by The Fred on 27 January 2004 - 11:23 PM in Nerf Wars

That was impressive, Hersh. Many of those verbs... "flog" being amongst them... are part of my daily existence, though.

Central Jersey exists because we know that we are better than both North and South Jersey. If you've ever listened to a person from South Jersey attempt to speak, you'd begin to realize that generations upon generations of inbreeding have begun to take their toll. If you've ever listened to a person from North Jersey attempt to speak, you'd begin to realize that they really shouldn't be allowed to speak.

I won't even get into the topic of air and soil quality differences between New Jersey regions, but if you've ever driven to Newark Airport you'd know what I am talking about.

With love,
The Fred

#17283 Nj Spring War

Posted by The Fred on 27 January 2004 - 01:20 PM in Nerf Wars


I'm leaning more towards, like, the breaking of the 5th Seal leading to a tremendous plague of dodo birds ascending upon Central New Jersey for this one. But I guess snow might happen, too.

The Fred

#17282 Nj March War

Posted by The Fred on 27 January 2004 - 01:18 PM in Nerf Wars

Rutgers Spring Break is from March 13-21. The 14th and 21st are equally good for me.

The Fred

#16607 Reckoning 2004

Posted by The Fred on 18 January 2004 - 01:51 AM in Nerf Wars

The LGLF will be getting together at 9 am tomorrow in Middletown to take a look at the weather conditions, glue some darts, etc. If the weather is improved, i.e. if the snow that is coming down outside of our windows right now has melted, we're going to try to make it down there, but probably not until the second half of the war in a best-case scenario. If it is icing, snowing, or nasty out there we don't think we can make it, but we'll get as many of us together for a raindate next week.

I wish we had gotten a bit more notice to the sudden change of plans. We had already made contingency plans for next weekend, such as getting out of work and other commitments, before this happened. But whatever.

The Fred

#16561 Reckoning 2004

Posted by The Fred on 17 January 2004 - 01:04 PM in Nerf Wars

Langley and I have been talking about this over the phone since last night and we've decided that next weekend would be better for us, as well. Neither of our cars (most of you have seen my 1991 Maxima with half a front bumper) can handle snow, sleet, freezing rain, or plagues of locusts very well and the trip down there might be too much. We're trying to get rid of our commitments for next Sunday, but we're sure we'll be down there for war on the 25th.

This sucks, but so does the weather.

The Fred

#16406 Reckoning 2004

Posted by The Fred on 14 January 2004 - 11:41 PM in Nerf Wars

The above is an example of what happens when we leave Langley to his own devices. I'm surprised the snow and cabin fever didn't turn him into Jack Nicholson from the Shining (or Homer from "The Shinning").

"No beer and no TV make Homer go something something..."

The Fred

#12976 Reckoning 2004

Posted by The Fred on 17 November 2003 - 08:38 PM in Nerf Wars

You know,

It's really heartening to see the great reaction my physical plight has given everyone on this forum. YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES. A man's health is no laughing matter, and when your young bodies begin to break down on you as the years pass, I hope your karma comes back and bites you in the ass.

The Fred

P.S. I think it will be Professor Plum, in the kitchen, with the ice pick.

#12868 Reckoning 2004

Posted by The Fred on 14 November 2003 - 06:23 PM in Nerf Wars

Hey guys,

The weekend of the 18th is the best. Rutgers commences on the following Tuesday (1/22), I think, so although I'll probably be able to make it on the weekend of the 25th, the 18th is a sure thing. And I promise not to hurt myself before this one.

Kicking the shit out of people one arm at a time,
The Fred

#12335 Lglf, Get Ur Asses To France

Posted by The Fred on 04 November 2003 - 05:20 PM in Off Topic

Just to clarify a major point... neither Langley nor the LGLF support the ass-douching French government in any way, shape, or form. Let them sleep with Saddam for all we care.

A public service announcement from The Fred.

#12315 Lglf, Get Ur Asses To France

Posted by The Fred on 04 November 2003 - 12:11 AM in Off Topic

The hilarity of that article is only surpassed by the awe I feel for someone actually coming across it. Wow, that made my night.

The Fred

#9405 Nj Nerf Ownz! (thanks For The Pizza)

Posted by The Fred on 07 September 2003 - 11:11 PM in Nerf Wars

As I am now ambulatory and able to resume my existence as a biped, I must take this opportunity to express how goddamned PISSED OFF I am at myself for getting hurt and having to be in bed for this war. I missed a kickass time and I will forever rue the porcelain gods for making my weekend a living hell. (Don't ask, although you probably heard if you were there)

As for our guests from Hasbro, I second the notion that it's pretty cool that they decided to stop by, treat us to some second-rate pizza and tell us that they are interested in what it is we do. I wouldn't go all crazy about mainstream Nerf just yet, but it's definitely a positive that our efforts as modders, individuals, and clans are being noticed by the folks who make the guns. I wasn't there, so I don't know a great deal about the legalese that was present in the discussion, but the sentiments that I get from talking to Langley suggest that the Hasbro reps weren't exactly handing out cease-and-desists to everyone present (which is better than I would have previously thought, much much better).

Anyway, this is a chain of events that really psyches me up for the future. I'm just pissed off I wasn't there, you lucky bastards who were. Hope you enjoyed your pizza.

The Fred ^_^